A Most Amusing Game
by Beitris
Summary: Yuzuru Suou and Yoshio Ootori match wits in a game to win Haruhi for their respective sons. Who will win? Will Haruhi figure out their game before they're successful? Full summary inside.
1. Prologue

_Summary _

_Yuzuru Suou and Yoshio Ootori strike a bet. Both must use theirs wits, their power, and their charm to win Haruhi. But not for themselves. They both wish to see her marry their sons, and will do anything to make it happen. Once it becomes clear that Haruhi's father will not force to girl, they must do all they can to persuade her. Will Haruhi figure out their game before they can be successful? _

* * *

"I have, indeed, planned for the Fujioka girl to marry my son. She would be a good asset to the Ootori empire." Yoshio sat primly, across from his long time rival, a small smile playing on his lips. He watched as Yuzuru Suou's eyebrows rose in surprise. 

"And here, we find the last remaining obstacle. As you no doubt have seen, my son is infatuated with the girl. They would be a perfect match, and wise successors for the Suou business."

Yoshio laughed politely. "It's too bad," he said, still smiling. "It seems we will be at odds on this one last thing. Perhaps it would be better if we let Haruhi choose for herself?"

Yuzuru smiled devilishly. He had a wonderful, terrifying idea. "But who's to say we cannot help _persuade _her? Maybe…sway her feelings? If we don't, who's to say that she doesn't end up with one of those horrifying Hitachiin twins?"

"True." he was silent a moment, before nodding slightly. "This could be a most entertaining game." Yoshio Ootori stood, pushing his teacup away as he did. He found it hard to keep from grinning. A battle of wits with his rival? He could never pass this up. And with Haruhi Fujioka as the variable, it seemed as if this game could be most interesting. Not to mention that he really did think that Fujioka was best suited for Kyoya.

Yuzuru watched the other man leave, escorted by a pack of his bodyguards. He was not so concerned about keeping his glee private. As soon at the other businessman was out of sight, a large smile broke out on Yuzuru's face. He motioned for a maid to bring him a phone. The cell phone was flipped open the moment it hit his hand.

"Operator. Yes, put me in touch with the Okama Ranka Fujioka. Ryoji, yes."

He waited a moment, listening to the dial tone. Then, after a few tense minutes, there was a sleepy hello.

"How can I help you?" came the slumbered greeting and Yuzuru had to contain a maniacal laugh.

"Mr. Fujioka, I am the Superintendent of Ouran High School. You are, of course, aware that your daughter attends here."

A noise of assent was the response, and Yuzuru did not wait for more. "My son, Tamaki, is in the same club as your daughter, and I was wondering about your opinions on marriage."

This caught the man's attention. Yuzuru was surprised by the vehemence of the man's objections. "…not letting that pervert boy anywhere near my precious Haruhi, no better than a bug he is…"

"Pervert?" Yuzuru questioned. He thought he knew Tamaki pretty well, and besides being a seventeen year old boy, there was nothing truly perverted about him.

"I see your precious son has not shared these details with you, Superintendent. I came home and he was on top, yes _on top_, of my beautiful Haruhi. Poor girl, she's so naive, she did not even realize…"

Yuzuru raised his eyebrows. He had no idea that something of that nature had happened. "Mr. Fujioka, I'm sure it was all a grave misunderstanding…I really believe that your daughter would be a perfect match for my son."

"Well, I don't know – wait, I've got another call, could you excuse me for a moment?"

Yuzuru frowned. "Of course." He said pleasantly, while inside, he was fuming. He had no doubt that the caller on the other line was none other than his rival, Yoshio Ootori. It annoyed him to no end that the other businessman could not even wait for ten minutes to call Haruhi's father. He had to know how irritating he was being.

* * *

"Marriage? Please, tell me, why all this sudden interest in my daughter? I am on the phone with another of Haruhi's friend's father, and he is requesting the same thing?" 

Ryoji was silent for a moment, listening to Yoshio speak. He was nodding, even though he knew the other man could not see him. "Oh, just the Superintendent. You know his son, that worthless pervert…"

He nodded again, agreeing with whatever Yoshio had said. "Yes, Haruhi is a very wonderful girl. I am rooting for your son, you know, but I will only let Haruhi decide her marriage. I think she would not have it any other way. Please, do say hello to Kyoya. It's been too long since he's called me." He said goodbye to the Ootori CEO before pressing another button on his phone. Flicking his hair away, he picked back up his conversation with the Superintendent. "As I said to Mr. Ootori, Haruhi must make her own decisions. I wish you son the best of luck in receiving her affections."

With that, he said a polite goodbye and flicked his phone shut, a devilish grin playing on his lips. He leant back in his chair. "Haruhi!" he called through his apartment. "Daddy has great news!"

* * *


	2. Phone Me

"Dad, I'm home!" Haruhi said cheerily as she walked into her apartment. Plopping the grocery bags she carried down on the counter, she looked around. "Dad?" He was nowhere to be seen. Haruhi listened intently. She could hear a low murmur coming from her living room. She walked in and frowned. No, her father wasn't there. After a few confusing moments, she finally located the noise. Rolling her eyes, Haruhi stalked across the room and flung the closet door open, exposing her father. He was hunched, sitting on a pair of shoes, _her_ shoes to be exact, whispering into a phone.

At the sudden burst of light, Ryoji looked up quizzically. He smiled when he saw his daughter. "Ah, Haruhi! I didn't hear you." He snapped the phone shut and wiggled out of the closet past Haruhi. She just stared at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Dad. Why were you in the closet?"

"Important business call."

"Where you talking to Kyoya again?"

"No!"

Haruhi didn't respond, only followed her father into the kitchen, where he began poking through the grocery bags curiously. "Hey, leave that." Haruhi chastised. Ryoji frowned, but drew his hand away from the cookies without comment. Instead, he leant against the opposite counter, watching his daughter prepare their supper.

"So…" he said conversationally. Haruhi turned to look at him, raising her eyebrows in question again. Deciding to get it over with, Ryoji launched himself right in.

"IfyoucouldmarryTamakiwouldyou?"

His words were rushed and nearly inaudible and Haruhi turned fully towards him, staring at her father's blushing face. "Come again?" she finally said, trying to figure out what was going on. Ryoji took a deep breath, looking away from Haruhi for a moment.

"If you could marry Tamaki, would you?" he asked again, fidgeting. Haruhi just stared. She was quiet for a full minute before she decided that her father needed to die. But then, she reasoned, she would probably be forced to live at the school, and that would be bad. She took a large breath, and counted backwards from ten. Twice.

"Dad. You really have to stop talking to Kyoya." She said finally, turning back to her cooking. He scowled behind her back.

"What kind of answer is that?" he pouted. "And besides…I'm just curious. Out of the whole host club, who would you rather marry?"

Haruhi was trying to ignore him, she really was. But finally, she gave up. "Well, Tamaki's funny," she said, and behind her, Ryoji's face became a mass of horror. "But Kyoya's smart. I guess being rich isn't a factor because they all are. Kaoru is nice, but I think marrying one of the twins would mean marrying them both, and Hunny…well, he's like a little kid. But maybe…" she trailed off, leaving her father in a nervous frenzy of (silent) anticipation. "Mori-senpai." She said finally. Ryoji's jaw dropped.

"Excuse me?"

"Well, he's the least annoying, and if I had to choose, then I would choose him. Though, to tell you the truth, I would rather die a virgin than marry one of the Host club."

Ryoji found he rather liked that idea, but decided to leave it be. His mission was over. He needed to get back to the closet as soon as possible and tell Mr. Ootori his findings. Because he was sure that Kyoya would find them useful.

"Well, I know who I would choose." Ryoji said finally. Haruhi grimaced.

"Dad, just stop. Please. This is nearly as bad as the time we had the sex talk."

Ryoji shuddered at the memory. "Alright. Alright. Now, what's for dinner?"

* * *

"Look. I'm just going to turn around, and walk away. We'll pretend this never happened. Understand?" Haruhi stood in front of Tamaki, arms crossed over her chest as she glared. He pouted, holding a flimsy costume up. She glared at the offending blue garment, not backing down. 

"But Haruhi! This is my best idea yet! And you'll look so cute! Daddy demands it!" Tamaki whined, trying to hand her the costume. She shoved it away, looking for assistance fro the rest of the host club. Meeting Kaoru and Hikaru's devilish grins, she knew she wasn't going to find any help from them. She glanced up at Kyoya, who was writing something in a folder.

He looked up, meeting her gaze. Smirking slightly, he shook his head. Haruhi's jaw dropped. "Kyoya, you're not going to let them do this to me, right?" she said, trying not to be hysterical.

"I'm sorry," he said professionally. "But you wearing that costume would raise our profits substantially. I have a duty to our 'business' to make us successful." He smiled slightly. "At least you aren't wearing a dress."

Haruhi groaned, reluctantly taking the costume from a delighted Tamaki's hands. He was dancing on the spot, gleefully grinning. Haruhi glared at him, and at Kyoya as she walked away to try the costume on. "Stupid Shadow King." She muttered to herself, earning a laugh from Mori, who overheard as she walked past.

She scowled to herself, before opening the door to the adjoining room she usually used to change. Locking the door behind her, she examined the costume critically. It was cut short across the belly and the generously baggy pants were designed to hang dangerously low. Haruhi wasn't sure if she wanted to tear the thing to shreds or set it on fire. It was a close tie.

Sighing, she peeled off her uniform jacket, undoing her tie easily. She threw the garments over a nearby chair. Looking behind her to make sure the door was locked, she'd had quite enough of 'accidental' interruptions, she pulled rest of her clothes off. Examining the costume, she tried to figure out where the zipper was. Haruhi finally figured out that was no zipper, and the whole thing was more of a pull on sort of deal. After a few struggling minutes, she was finally dressed again. Looking in the mirror, she tried to cover herself up. The shirt was cut so short that she could not raise her arms fully, for fear of exposing her bra.

She was going to _kill_ Tamaki.

* * *

The east door to the Third Floor Music room swung open to reveal a murderous looking Haruhi. Tamaki was pleased to see her dressed in her costume, but found himself less happy that the target of her rage was, once again, him. She stalked across the room purposely, her arms held protectively over her exposed stomach. The pants she wore made her hips appear more womanly, and Tamaki found himself transfixed by their sway. Soon, Haruhi was right in front of him, looking less than pleased. 

"I _refuse_." She hissed to him. She backed up, spreading her arms wide. She did a slow twirl. "Look at me. Look at me! I look ridiculous!" Hikaru appeared from behind Tamaki. Kaoru also popped up, to Tamaki's left.

"No!" they cried in unison. "You look perfect! The girls will love it!" Haruhi rolled her eyes.

"Senpai, there is no way you are getting me to wear this. There is not enough fabric."

Hunny appeared next to Haruhi, his bunny in tow. He tugged in her sleeve. "Haruhi, don't you want to dress up like us?" he asked, his voice small. "Don't you want to be one of the Hosts?" Haruhi sighed at his obvious tactics.

"Hunny, I love dressing up. I just need a different costume."

"Why?" Hikaru interjected. "My Lord likes it, why wouldn't the girls?"

At this, a muffled squeak came from the silent Lord. He was staring at Haruhi, subtlety thrown in the garbage. Ever since she had exposed her full costume, Tamaki had found himself unable to look away. His mouth was slightly open and to Haruhi's embarrassment, the look in his eyes was making her blush. From across the room, Kyoya looked up from his notebook, watching the exchange with a frown. Tamaki was openly lusting for Haruhi, and she did not seem completely troubled by it. Kyoya scowled to himself. He did not like the way this was turning out, but he could hardly go back on his ruling now.

He was just about to order Haruhi to change back, for the good of the costume, of course, when he was distracted by a vibration from his phone. Tugging the phone from his pocket, he snapped it open, placing it near his ear. "Kyoya Ootori, speak." His voice was clipped. He had no idea who was calling; everyone who usually harassed him was across the room at the time.

"Kyoya! Learn to answer your phone better."

Nearly dropping the piece of technology, Kyoya tried not to stutter when he answered. "Of course, Father. How can I help you?"

"You're needed in my study after school today. Jenna, the new girl, she'll fetch you when you return from school. We have something to discuss."

Kyoya frowned. Usually, his father just summoned him at the time, he rarely called ahead. "Of course." He said, snapping his phone shut after a short goodbye. He looked back to the Hosts across the room. Haruhi had disappeared and Tamaki was standing off to the side, a cell phone to his ear. Kyoya frowned to himself again, shoving his own phone away. He looked down at the notes he had been taking. By his calculations, Haruhi's little outfit would more than double their prospective profits. The businessman in him could not let that opportunity to pass by.

* * *

"To your office? Now? But father…Superintendent, I'm with the Host Club now." Tamaki was speaking quietly into his phone when Kyoya sidled up beside him. Tamaki noticed him, making a silent gesture of frustration at his father. Kyoya smiled. "Yes, straight away after. I promise. No, I won't be late. Yes, yes. Bye."

He snapped his phone shut, looking bewildered. "My father wants to have a 'conference' with me. As soon as possible. I'm seeing him after school. How weird is that?"

Kyoya smiled thinly. "Weird." He agreed. Now, his mind was working at full speed. He had gotten an important call from his father, and Tamaki had gotten the same. Were they connected? It seemed unlikely that the two fathers had planned something, it was common knowledge that they were rivals? Was it merely coincidence then?

"May I change now?"

Haruhi's deadpan voice cut through his thoughts and Kyoya looked up to see her glaring at everybody. Kyoya nodded.

"Of course, now that we know it fits, everything will work out great."

* * *

To be continued in chapter two: An Unexpected Twist. Tamaki and Kyoya talk with their fathers, and Haruhi must wear the dreaded costume. 


	3. An Unexpected Twist

"You wished to see me, Father?" Kyoya stood behind the straight backed chair while his father sat across the desk, a mysterious gleam in his eyes. This unnerved Kyoya. He did not like when his father was not forthcoming with his schemes.

"Sit, Kyoya. We have much to discuss." Yoshio Ootori spoke softly, but with an authority that commanded hundreds. Kyoya sat. "I am about to tell you something that may shock you," Yoshio warned. "You may be angry with me, but I feel that you will soon agree with my reasons."

Kyoya raised his eyebrows, but said nothing. Instead, he folded his hands in front of him, giving his father his full attention.

"I have struck a bet with Yuzuru Suou over the matrimonial fate of Haruhi Fujioka."

Kyoya was silent for a moment. He adjusted his glasses, his pale hands shaking very slightly. "I beg your pardon?" he finally said, his mind a race of questions. If his father meant what Kyoya thought he meant, then he was about to be swept up in something he truly was not interested in.

"He believes that, through charm alone, Tamaki can win Haruhi's heart."

"He is probably right." Kyoya responded. Yoshio frowned.

"I, however, have bet on your abilities. I trust that you not disappoint me."

Kyoya stood up quickly. He was angry, but controlled himself in front of his father. "I am not sure you know what you are asking of me." He said, his vice sharp and clipped.

"Sit down, boy." Yoshio commanded. Kyoya sat. "I ask you only to use your wit and your intelligence to gain the affection of the Fujioka girl. Surely you see that, with her as your partner, this business could rise substantially in international affairs? Yuzuru Suou sees that potential in her too; he intends to have her for Tamaki, to keep the Suou enterprise in the Japanese top five."

"Father, I-"

"Do you wish that for Haruhi? Kyoya, do you? To be married to a buffoon for the rest of her days? His affections will wane, we both know that. As soon as he has her, the thrill will be gone and he will be distracted by the next pretty young thing that comes along."

"Tamaki is not like that." Kyoya stated harshly. His father rolled his eyes.

"He is a teenage boy. They are all like that." Yoshio smirked at his son. "Yes, I am aware that you too are a teenage boy. But you are different. I know you have feelings for Haruhi, be them infatuation or respect. You do care for her. At the very least, you want her to be successful. All I am asking you to do is act upon your feelings for the good of this business, and, in the end, for the god of yourself. Kyoya, I believe this is what's best for you."

A long moment of silence filled the room before Kyoya decided to speak again. "Agreed." He stood stiffly, and without saying goodbye, left his father's office. He knew it was no use to argue with a man such as his father, but he also knew that this 'game' that had been cooked up was a potential disaster. He had to phone Tamaki before everything got out of hand. If both he and Tamaki refused, their fathers could do nothing. He only hoped that Tamaki actually refused.

Walking down the long corridor that led to his rooms, Kyoya flipped open his cell phone, dialling Tamaki's number quickly. Holding it to is ear, he pushed open his bedroom door and flicked on his light. As the phone rang in his ear he threw himself on the bed, untangling himself from his sheets as a voice spoke in his ear.

* * *

"Father? How could you?" Tamaki's voice was awash with drama. He was horrified at his father, and horrified at Kyoya, for having a father so devious. "Haruhi is not to be toyed with! And she most definitely will not marry Kyoya!" 

"That is why you must stop this." Yuzuru Suou implored. "You must win, and you must make Haruhi fall in love with you. Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that what you were planning anyway?"

Tamaki blushed, his face turning an amusing tomato color.

"You see, my son, this is the best way of going about it. Now you have my help, and Kyoya's competition to motivate you. Unless you _want_ Haruhi to end up married to an unethical money hound for the rest of her life? Do you truly think she would be happy that way? Kyoya would be distant and cold, that's no way for a pretty girl like Haruhi to live."

Tamaki was silent, standing across from his father. Finally, he held out his hand, and his smiling father shook it. "I agree." Tamaki said. "I will make sure Haruhi does not marry Kyoya. I will protect her, even if it kills me!" Yuzuru shook his head, laughing slightly.

"Good. That's good. Now, run along, I'm sure you have homework."

Tamaki nodded and left his father's study, bolting along the halls of his home. He came to a skidding stop near the kitchen. He poked his head in carefully, about to ask for some food, when his left hip vibrated. He frowned (it was an odd sensation) and pulled out the phone.

"Hey?" he greeted, waiting for the other person to respond. When Kyoya did, Tamaki nearly fell over in surprise. He spoke as his walked towards his room.

"Tamaki, I was hoping I would catch you." Kyoya was polite, thought his voice was guarded. Tamaki knew that he must voice his challenge. He would not lose to Kyoya!

"Kyoya!" he cried, making Kyoya wince at the noise, "I will not allow you to win Haruhi!"

"She's not a prize, Tamaki." Kyoya said irritably. He'd had enough of people talking as if Haruhi was property.

"Right you are, Kyoya. That's why you cannot have her!"

"Your logic is flawed."

"Is it? Is it? Kyoya, I challenge you! A test of wits, with Haruhi's_ affections _as the prize. Feel free to forfeit, I will not begrudge you." Tamaki stood in his room now, posing, though no one could see him. He waited in silent anticipation for Kyoya's answer.

"I accept."

Tamaki's fist shot up with a cry of jubilation. He was ecstatic. This was the best thing they had thought up. Nothing could ever go wrong.

"Shut up for a second!" Kyoya commanded. "You need to listen if this whole scheme isn't going to crash and burn."

"Why?" Tamaki asked. "What could go wrong?"

"Well, for one, what do you think will happen if Haruhi finds out?" Tamaki was silent, so Kyoya continued. "What about Hikaru and Kaoru? What if they found out? Or Haruhi's dad?"

"They'd kill us." Tamaki said, his eyes wide, his voice afraid.

"Exactly. This is why this must stay with us. Only us. You cannot tell anyone."

"Agreed. And when I win, you must promise there will be no hard feelings." Tamaki responded. Kyoya rolled his eyes, but agreed anyway.

"This must be separate from our fathers. They will be waging their own war, we needn't get involved. This is only us."

Tamaki was quiet for a moment. "Fine."

Kyoya said his goodbyes and Tamaki snapped his phone shut, grinning from ear to ear. He striped out of his uniform, rooting around in his dresser to find something else to wear. Another phone call interrupted him putting on his pants. He did up the zipper before scrambling for his cell and flipping it open.

"_I know what you're planning, you little pervert! You better keep your filthy little hands off Haruhi!" _

The voice was screeching in his ear. Tamaki held the phone away from his ear and Ryoji Fujioka continued to yell. After Tamaki could hear no more, he cautiously put the phone back to his ear.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourself, young man?" Ryoji demanded shrilly, making Tamaki cringe.

"Nothing, sir…I mean, ma'am?"

"Don't sass me, boy!"

Tamaki gave a small yelp. Never had he heard Ryoji so deadly. Haruhi's father wanted him dead!

"You will keep your hands off of Haruhi." Ryoji commanded. "I heard about your little game, I am hoping that Kyoya wins. You will get no help from me, pervert."

With that, there was a sharp click before silence. After a few moments, the dial tone pulled Tamaki from his shock. Had that really happened? How had Ryoji found out? And why was he taking Kyoya's side? Just because of one little misunderstanding in Haruhi's living room? It seemed horribly unfair.

And Kyoya was going to murder him, for now Ryoji knew their secret.

* * *

"I don't see why you're so upset." Kaoru said quietly while Haruhi was sulking in a corner, waiting for the girls to arrive. 

"Of all the things he chose, it had to be Disney princess? And why the hell am I Jasmine? Also, why'd he have to alter the costume?" Haruhi demanded, her voice rising slightly. Kaoru raised a comforting hand to her shoulder.

"Don't worry about it," he advised. "My Lord will stop staring at you as soon as the girls arrive, and he has to pay attention to them. Trust me; the girls will go crazy for you."

"And not for you?" Haruhi asked, looking at Kaoru's Cinderella costume, which was paired with Hikaru's Sleeping Beauty costume.

"Of course, for me, that's a given." Kaoru said smugly, earning a grin from Haruhi. Suddenly, the door to the Music Room swung open, and a gaggle of girls swarmed in.

"So cute!" they squealed in unison. Kaoru patted Haruhi's back before striding over to his twin. Shaking her head ruefully, Haruhi followed him after a moment, coming to stand behind Kyoya. He turned around, his Armani tuxedo whispering fabric. He smiled at her. It made Haruhi raise her eyebrows.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" she asked.

"I'm just pleased to not be in one of those dresses." He replied.

Haruhi frowned. "What _aren't_ you in a dress?"

"Well, as the organizer, I usually am able to swing things my way." Kyoya said, looking very self-satisfied.

"One day, you'll be in a dress, and I'll be the one laughing." Haruhi assured him. Kyoya just nodded, not saying anything.

From across the room, Tamaki watched the exchange with a frown. This was going to be harder than he had anticipated. He had forgotten that Haruhi found refuge in Kyoya. He was her safe harbour from all the insanity the Host Club brought.

Damn.

* * *

_So I was threatened by a scary gypsy who entranced me with magics. So I updated quickly to keep myself safe. Here it is. Let me know if you see any typos. Also, who do you want Haruhi to end up with? I'd love to hear it! I've got a firm idea of who it's going to be, but who knows, it could change!_

_Now, I must go update my Naruto story. I've only got two more chapters to go!_


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